Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
