you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
