I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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