he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
