When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
