I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
