So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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