kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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