She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
