i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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