true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
