So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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