Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
