Me too!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
