Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
