I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
