Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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