think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
