just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize