I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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