I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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