dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
