Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
