guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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