clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
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