I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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