Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
