he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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