maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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