Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
