i think my mom watched the whole time
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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