so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
