you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
