Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I see more hoeing in ur future
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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