The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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