I want to have your abortion
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize