Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
