You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
