we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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