Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
