We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
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super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
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He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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