but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
