Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
