..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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