I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
