This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
