im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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