When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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