is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
