I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
