ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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