I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
