She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
