My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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