Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
