I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
