im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
