i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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