the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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